I still keep your emails, the thoughts you left me with
perhaps with hope you might come back
if I could muster up the courage to respond to the last…
its status still shows “read”
an acknowledgement of your last attempt, and I-
and the coward we both see in me-
fight the urge to keep the conversation going.
Why, I do not know, did I pay too little attention
to the beauty that you found in me- I simply could not see
all the while twirling your hair in my hands
watching each strand escape my grasp
how could I have known with each
you were slipping farther from me?
And I had to be gentle, so gentle
not to pull too tightly and cause you any pain
but pain is all I caused as my touch
on any part of you pulled too hard on your heart.
I hope in time the distance has healed you
you bear no marks of suffrage by me
my hands were hard, but my words I know
brought more damage than Katrina to sinners.
Do not think I have forgotten your smile,
so full of life when one call from me
enduced a high for days and your friends-
thought we were silly creatures to be so gay.
The sound of my voice, now an echo I am sure
would twist your mouth in bitter animosity-
and would I blame you? No,
you deserved better and you knew
as well as I, but together we pursued
what we thought to be a chance
for true beauty to coexist with
a beauty laced with evil in designer heels.
How I used those heels to walk right over you
pushing you further and further into your grave
where now you lay, not at rest, but regret
and revenge for the moment when I,
overstepping my boundaries and losing my head,
dance across your plot one last time-
for you will ensure it my last.