On being an adult, making adult decisions

There is a great chance that I am leaving here…
A greater certainty that I am already gone
but I cannot help but wonder why I have never done this before.
This anxious feeling in my stomach is not induced by fear,
by an eagerness to escape this life I have lived within this black hole that has, for years, pulled me back in
and swallowed me whole.
Nothing here beckons my presence; nothing is absolute, permanent
I have no reason to stay… a greater need for me lies about in wait
And it’s determinance is up to me.
But should I flee, what would I escape?


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