The third year

Goodbye
is only as long as you let it be.
I just can’t think of any excuse
not to cut you loose;
my hands are yet tied,
bound by this love
I hide still burning,
deeply yearning for you.

This depression now fills this space
where my heart once had replaced
its despairing with your love.
Forgiveness was the legacy
that cleansed my sins
and led me to free my heart
of these indecent desires-
that necrophilic lusting
of my soul for your flesh
to be brought back to life.

I shamed you for dancing with the stars
As they shot about
taunting my eyes to press
beyond the bounds of their sockets
while with simultaneous intensity
they followed the shimmer of the moon
on the waves that carried
the pieces of you along
until the morning brought the sun
and with it, you were gone.

Be leery of the cultivator of souls,
the watchful eyes of the weary,
the lies of the broken hearted.
There’s a fine line
by which to define
the separation of lies and deception;
I hope that I can somehow hide behind it
But like a bullet from a gun
Your memories flood back to mind
and from them I still cannot run.
They are dangerous,
destructible
for even a sensible mind like mine-
as it once was.
I liked you better
when you were but a mystery
when defiance pulled you toward me-
me to you.
Standing padlock gripped,
steady hearts until we were but
two hands anchored by want.

I want to keep it just like this
A phonetic balance of silence
Sealed with a crystalline kiss.

Nearing Time to Say Goodbye Again

Winter came, and I clung to you. Hid under your blankets like a child as the chill dwarfed me, brought me to need you.
I was victimized by the cold you loved and grew to know, to love you through winter’s icy embrace.
I called your name in vain as the news that tortured my ears, my eyes- when every orifice flooded with pain, I was forced to miss you.
You died alone but not lonely
for my heart went with you as it had held its place all the way-
needing you, loving you, missing you.
But by your absence, I found a reason, the need to stay.

The Lead of a Follower

I want to grow old before I die
Live a life beyond the shadows of fatality and decay
and press the boundaries of which breath is confined
I do not want to waste a moment left of me.
And when it is time
I want to know that all the paths I set out on
Were measurements of greatness thrust upon my eager meetings of these goals set by the One who thought me fit to walk the earth to get His bidding done.
I will run to Him with all I have, then turn to see who races along beside me and be glad to see that I was never alone.

Keeping a Safe Heart Open

To which ever way the wind blows,
I hope it brings this message to you
for all I wanted to say in honesty
but could never convince my words to sound true.
I must have made a thousand mistakes to keep my thoughts at bay-
to keep my head in lieu of love and
my heart by patience’s way.

In lust we fix our eyes on great lots
And pray to be rewarded in haste for no time can we waste when every hour lost is an alibi,
though these pleasures we seek to keep our lives full up,
are certain never to satisfy.

My voice now sturdy though done harm as harm has been brought upon it
in past plights for such shameful episodes.
But those scenes since created bring to life this less jaded, irreplaceable talisman of virtue and of strength-
I am finally made whole, made new by His word- made to be right for someone deserving…
I will do you no wrong if you let me.