Let the Calvary ride,
let them sound their life,
abide by time and due
their hearts to past feats
for I, stand now,
understanding their plight
cannot regain sleep this night.

Let my heart not cast aside its beat
this time,
allow rushed beats subside
and in time grow steady
In light of what you left behind.

The fragile markings of your unjust haste,
You had your fill of me
But wanted in its place
another you knew well
to break you, yet still
she draws you near.

What, dear, you do not know
is this
I grew not cold, but warm to this
your softened heart-
as it was all I knew and hoped,
and, wished… believed
it loved me too.

I was wrong,
as this night professed
my woman, not enough,
to be your best,
but your loved ones, I
I grew to love too.
I cannot discern
who more to bid adieu

For I cared more than I ever knew
too soon about this boy I met,
and did I let him in too soon
to know my heart?
To feel its truth?

I say I did, and it breaks my soul
to know that my all, my whole
was still far less than what it took
for loves kind face to finally rest
upon this cheek,
soothe this heaving breast.

Instead, these sobs I strive to calm
to acquire sleep amidst this storm.
But my furrowed brow
cannot comprehend this defeat
as it’s been written.

Your touch was wild,
and caused this rush,
my heart now bleeds
from your fateful touch.
It is not your fault,
this I know, detestably so.

Love cannot be forced,
but still, I bare this heavy blow.
Knowing I desired all of you,
to the breath, to the flesh.

But I guess that she did at least this well…
What I failed to say, until now
still stains my lips, infuriatingly well;
this story that she rushed to tell,
is the same upon which I still idly dwell.


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