My mind was done. My heart moved on
for you were, it seemed, long gone.
But on the wind you materialize again,
blinding my sights, stealing the breath
from my lungs, making me want you
if but for the mystery you bring.
There is no refuge from you anymore.
At the brink of enough, you return,
show the pull you still hold on my heart
for despite the nonchalance I displayed,
my mind was undoubtedly made,
dependent on keeping feelings at bay,
on just holding you, far enough away.
You were looking for love but I,
I was only out for one- myself and lied
that it was but ambiguous fun we made.
But clearly, I must never have let go,
for your sudden return puts me in awe
over how much nothing has changed
about you, or the way you move me
and I already cannot escape you.
I promised myself, my heart that I,
I would stay strong no matter what,
your return would bear no weight
on this sight of mine, not this time.
Boy, how ever wrong was I
to define my miserable strength
by casting you aside, living the lie
that I could let my feelings subside,
and subdue my curiosity for you.
I never let you in, even when
you were wanting, more than willing
to let me love, let me have all of you.
Am I too late to accept your offer now?
Give in to the desires I always had
and let you feel what I felt in your eyes
each time I got close to opening mine.
I never had an absolute free, open mind
to you, never swallowed my pride-
but let the world around us decide
how it felt to be with you. To be yours.
And that my dear, is why I did hide
my desires, my wanting eyes from you
and, now, how ashamed am I
to be the one that hardened your heart.
Sadly, I must divulge to you this truth
the conditions that we would now face
could honestly produce no less
a disappointing fate for you and me
because, as it is, where we laid to rest
these feelings laced with anger, regret
a new spark ignited entirely too soon.
But it is much too late, too progressed
to extinguish now, I cannot, do not want
to put this new fire out. And I am sorry.
You came back much too late to find
this heart of mine, fine this time-
expertly mended, no longer on the line.