I celebrate today everything you are
not everything I miss since you went away.
For you, I allowed my happiness
to be product of your own.
I sacrificed pride for understanding.
There was really no known code
and no heart was mine to decide
who could have it, of who it could love.
Still, I held fast to yours-
wanting to control its desire.
I wanted to be your desire,
and so I let me fall, for you.
Until I was splashing about the waves
still searching, gasping for a breath
to breathe life back into you,
grasping blindly in the dark for a hold
to pull you back down to earth.
But you were already gone,
long before anyone knew.
It has been four years, my dear,
I am still not done getting over,
but I am getting better at letting go,
of all that I held on to waiting on you.