Separation Anxiety

Perhaps, I should have just given in
walked away by ruining it all then
so I would not feel this way now, again.
The pending event wears thin my will,
to stick around, sit idly by, patiently
while the rest of the world plays,
so it seems, all about but without me.
And while I wait resentment, frustration,
the need to counteract starts to sink in.
It angers me that these feelings arise,
I fight to suppress, internalize the problem
for surely I am the unstable one,
ready to wash my hands of it all
at the moment exclusion is made known.
It roots, claws, its way under my skin
and I, hypersensitive, begin to taste
the bitter words ready to fly from my lips,
yet I suppress them, hoping, willing
to drown them with any compassion,
I can muster, but when in growing lonely
I lose all understanding and the fear overcomes
I believe once again I am losing another-
someone I care for, but that I,
I am not allowed to hold on to.


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