I will not call him “the one that got away” because I pushed him there. He was great, but not ready for a commitment, with me. Why? Well, I did not give him a single reason to consider sticking around as I couldn’t keep my crazy on lock down.
Tis true, and I’m not afraid nor ashamed to admit it, now…I was the cause of the demise of the relationship- not him. Then, of course I would have suggested that he was at fault, and did in countless poems/rants (I am sorry).
Truth is, I was too insecure, immature and incapable of understanding that his world didn’t revolve around me. Not incapable, really; I just refused to. I was selfish and stubborn to an obvious fault. I attacked him from every angle, like that would really make him want to stick around, right? Hell no! He didn’t have time for that shit; he didn’t deserve it either.
A relationship is built on trust, on respect and understanding. I didn’t trust, respect or understand him enough for him to stay. I didn’t trust, respect or understand myself (and what I wanted) to be the woman he needed.